Shine A Light On Shame
We all experience some degree of shame. How does it manifest in your life, particularly when it becomes destructive? Do you have a specific narrative of shame that you frequently revisit or easily fall back into? Most of us do.
Shame serves as a barrier between ourselves and social groups, triggering an emotional response that signals potential exile—a survival mechanism, especially when group affiliation significantly influences our lives.
While shame can sometimes be a motivating or balancing emotion, it often proves counterproductive, convincing us that we are not smart enough, fit enough, or adequate in various aspects of life. Rooted in perfectionism, this narrative of inadequacy is exacerbated by societal comparisons, particularly through idealized portrayals on social media.
Here are three steps to address and overcome shame:
Recognition: Acknowledge and accept that everyone experiences shame.
Empathy for Yourself: Counteract shame with self-empathy. Understand that making mistakes is part of being human and doesn't define your worth. Isolate the specific behavior or error, offering yourself grace.
Open Communication: Illuminate shame by sharing it with a trusted individual. Keeping shame hidden leads to disconnection, creating a harmful cycle. Bringing it into the open fosters connection and minimizes shame's power. Focus on the positive aspect of shame, which is humility, and redirect the narrative toward connection with others.
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