Gaining Self-Awareness Takes Great Courage
Developing greater self-awareness is the first and most important step in investing in yourself. It is about recognizing and understanding how you show up to others as well as owning how you think about yourself. How can you become more self-aware? It all starts with data. There are two places to collect data – you can ask the people around you for their input and/or you can start paying real attention to what is happening inside your own head.
The idea of asking for others’ input on how our behaviors show up can be an unsettling experience. While many of us are initially excited about the concept of a 360 review, it can feel vulnerable to understand how you are perceived by your peers, boss and subordinates. We all love discovering others see us as empathic leaders, good listeners and flexible. However, discovering that what we consider a great sense of humor others feel is a need to be the center of attention, can hit us like a fist to the gut. But here is the deal – whether we are aware of how we are perceived by others or not, the perception still exists. Not knowing about something does not make it disappear, it only makes us unaware and therefore, not able to change how our behavior is impacting us.
The same is true about paying attention to what is happening inside our own head. Often, we tell ourselves stories that are there to mask some other hidden fears, insecurities or unfulfilled desires we are not willing to step into and own. The reality is that data collection for self-awareness takes a ton of courage. It takes being willing to sit in the vulnerability of identifying and owning how we really show up and what we really think about ourselves. Often the risk in acknowledgement is rooted in the misconception that if it is spoken or written, then it must be true. That does not have to be the case. I encourage the people I coach to realize that it is all just data about a point in time. What happens next, once the data is there, is yours to define.
I have found in my own life and so often with the people I coach, once we speak the story or hear the story, it almost immediately starts to lose its power over us. Once we can fully identify the reality of how we show up or what we are telling ourselves, we can give it a shape, call it a name, understand what feeds it and own where it comes from. We can manage it. If it is the seed of something great, work to nurture it and let it grow. If it is not, replace it with something that is far more productive and build on that instead. All it takes to do this is courage. Courage to say it or hear it. Courage to recognize that the story is there whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. The story is part of you and it will not change on its own. The only thing that will change it, is first, the courage to see it.
The one person you are guaranteed to be with for your entire life is you. How are you paying attention to who really are vs. who you want to be? Working with a coach can help you develop critical skills of self-awareness. A great first step in the process is to set aside time every day to create a habit of moving your thoughts from your mind to paper. For the next week, just take a moment at the end of each day to consider what is on your mind. It can be one sentence or five paragraphs – it does not matter. I promise you nothing horrible will happen from acknowledging your own thoughts. In fact, I am confident great things can come if you have the courage to take this first step in self-awareness. Start the process of owning your own thoughts. We can work on what comes next.
