Shifting Your Mindset to Embrace Change
Change is one of those things that creates massive anxiety for most people. Be it welcomed, self-initiated change – like accepting a new job, moving to a new city, or becoming a parent - or forced change, such as a new boss, it requires adjustment. No matter the reason, the concept of “change” is something that shifts our anxious brain into overdrive.
In my coaching, I often work with people adapting to change. The key is first recognizing that there are two different things happening: there's the change and then there's the transition. Change is an event or a circumstance that altered your known way of being. Be it something we had no control over – a new boss, a loss, a health scare, or something we chose to make happen – a new job, relocation, or retirement. By its nature, the event leaves its mark as change and asks for a reaction or response from us. The transition is the internal process of developing new ways of thinking and operating in response to this external circumstance that is forcing our reaction.
It is important to recognize and honor that things are not the same. Whether you welcome this new way of being or dread it – you may still miss the way things used to be. Allow yourself the gift of sitting with the fact that it's not ever going to be the same as it was. Just own that for a while. Doing this gives you an opportunity to prepare to move to this gray space between what was and what will be.
Getting to the gray space does not mean you are anxiety free. It does mean you are in a place to let go of what you cannot control and own what you can control. You cannot control what has already happened - it is behind you. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. However, you have complete control about how you respond and think about where you are going. A key question to ask yourself is ‘what opportunities does this offer that I didn’t have before?’ Perhaps, as much as you loved your old boss, they had ceased to see you in a broader light. Is this a new opportunity to stretch your comfort zone and show a different side of yourself?
Thinking about a change in terms of what opportunities it can offer you enables your brain to move from anxious to curious. It opens you to possibility. Focus your efforts on transitioning to this new “opportunity” rather than trying to recreate what you had. Life never moves in reverse. Keeping your mindset and approach in a place that is no longer available is self-defeating. It does not serve you. Redefine how you want to think about yourself, where you are going and what you can learn along the journey. It is about controlling the things you can, in-light of the things you cannot.
What are the old patterns of behaviors that are holding you back from embracing change as a welcome opportunity to be something new?
