WHAT MICHAEL JORDAN CAN TEACH US ABOUT HAPPINESS
Like many Americans, I have enjoyed The Last Dance, a chronicle of Michael Jordan’s journey as a dominant force in the NBA. Remembering his display of power and grace while scoring a record 63 points in a playoff game, against my beloved Boston Celtics, brought back great memories -as I was actually there.
The part of that game and the series that is meaningful for this conversation is that in spite of scoring more points in a playoff game than any player in history – his team lost. It was shortly after that season when Jordan made a decision to shift from himself to his teammates. He committed to being better connected to where they were on the court and what they needed to contribute, rather than how he would score himself. The eventual result, as we all know, was team dominance that lasted for several years. Connecting with others, focusing on making others better is a fundamental tenet of strong leadership. The same can be said about happiness.
Over the last decade there has been a ton of research on what creates happiness and well-being. There is overwhelming evidence that reaching out to others and having connection is critical to true well-being. But it is not necessarily our instinct to do so. One researcher noted that after having a particularly stressful day our instinct to relieve stress and restore our energy is to do something nice for ourselves. They offer the example of scheduling time for a manicure or massage. While taking that time for ourselves’ is restorative, the research shows that more impactful and longer lasting benefit comes from actually offering that same service to someone else, as a gift. We get longer and more meaningful benefit from the connection of giving than we do offering it to ourselves.
Michael Jordan realized that while he was clearly the best player on the team, using his own skills was not going to get him to where he really wanted to be. He had to go against his initial instinct of taking it all on himself. Similarly, perhaps it is worth considering our instinct of what is most helpful in times of challenge. Especially now, when we are trying to navigate very trying circumstances, we need to find a way to reach out and connect with others. In doing so, we may ultimately increase our own well-being – as well as, in all likelihood, someone else’s.
If you want to make yourself feel better this weekend, make a point to connect. Place an old fashion phone call, instead of a text, and just ask how someone is. See how you feel - test the theory. What makes you feel better - doing something for yourself, or reaching out to someone and making a connection?
In the spirit of giving, the attached video from twitter is a great example of how connecting over a shared orange soda can be the greatest gift. It is sure to make you smile!
Happy Friday everyone!
